From: Biniam Tekle (biniamt@dehai.org)
Date: Wed Mar 18 2009 - 08:17:55 EST
*POSITIVE ATTITUDES FOR THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS***
*Dr. Tesfa G. Gebremedhin, University of Bahrain*
Adam Smith, a pioneer in economics in the early days, said, “*Human beings
by virtue of nature are selfish*.” Though he said it in a different context,
it is relevant in this text as we reflect our behavioral relationship to
each other. In many ways, we fail to understand how important it is to live
up to our expectations in our communities. We fail to realize that we do not
live in isolation when we are capable to connect, cooperate and co-exist
with families and friends in peace and harmony. We fail to understand that
we have a short life time to live and that we have to make the best of it by
creating love, trust and integrity among ourselves in our own community. We
fail to observe that we can succeed and enjoy life together better than we
do individually and separately. But, it seems that our negative attitudes
override our positive attitudes towards each other. Character counts a lot
in the behavioral institution of human machinery. If I am dead wrong, as
good Eritreans, when was the last time we got out of our sanctuary and made
efforts to render our valuable service to our community? The story below
received from a nurse friend, though modified to fit to our purpose,
elaborates the message this short article is attempting to convey.
Two men, call them: Abel and Kael, both seriously ill, occupied the same
hospital room. Abel was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to
drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.
Kael had to spend all his time flat on his back. The two men talked for
hours about their dear wives and families, their beautiful homes, their jobs
and professional careers, places they have gone for vacations, and their
involvement in the military service. And every afternoon when Abel could sit
up, he would pass the time by describing to Kael (his roommate) all the
things he could see outside the window. For those one-hour periods Abel
described all the various activities and colors of the outside world. He
described to Kael about a park with a lovely lake; about ducks and swans
playing on the water while children sailed their model boats; about lovers
walking arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow; and the grand
old trees gracing the landscape of the park, and a fine view of the city
skyline that could be seen from a distance. As Abel described all these
activities in exquisite detail, Kael would close his eyes and imagine the
picturesque scene. One warm afternoon Abel described a parade passing by
from a distance. Although Kael could not hear and see the band, he could see
it in his mind's eye as Abel portrayed it with descriptive and caring words.
Unexpectedly, an evil thought entered Kael's head. He started to ask: “*Why
should he have all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to
see anything? It does not seem fair*.” As the thought fermented in his
little head, Kael felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he
missed seeing more sights without being near the window, his envy eroded
into resentment and this soon turned him sour and evil. He began to brood
and found himself unable to sleep. He complained that he should be by
that window like Abel and that negative thought afflicted his mind and
controlled his life thereafter.
Late one night, as Kael lay staring at the ceiling with despair, Abel began
to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. Kael watched in the
dimly lit room as the struggling Abel groped for the button to call for
help. Listening from across the room, Kael never moved, never pushed his own
button which would have brought the nurse running on time. In less than five
minutes, the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of
breathing. Now, there was only deathly silence. Kael still did nothing in
relation to Abel’s situation. The following morning, the day nurse arrived
to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of Abel,
she was saddened to find him dead and she called the hospital attendant to
take him away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, Kael asked the nurse if
he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch
and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly,
painfully, Kael propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look
through the window. He was excited and thought that he would have the joy of
seeing everything all by himself and nobody else. He really strained to
slowly turn to look out the window beside his bed. But, he was completely
shocked to find out that the window faced a blank wall. To his surprise,
there was no picturesque scene to observe as he has imagined and as Abel has
described to him.
The moral lesson of the story is that the pursuit of happiness is a matter
of choice. In most instances, it is the positive attitude we consciously
choose to express and portray. It is not a gift from God that gets delivered
to our door step each morning, nor does it come in a silver plate through
the window of our bedroom. Even for the birds in the sky, God does not put
their daily meals in their nests.* *Though God provides them with food, they
have to make efforts to acquire what is given, just as we need to pray for
the forgiveness which God grants in His mercy. When we choose to be pleasant
and positive in the way we treat others, we have also chosen, in most
instances, how we are going to be treated by others. It is certain that our
circumstances are just a small part of what makes us joyful. If we wait for
our circumstances to get just right by themselves without doing anything, we
will never find lasting joy. If we regularly deposit positive, encouraging,
and uplifting thoughts in our minds, if we continue to bite our lips just
before we begin to grumble and complain, if we shoot down that seemingly
harmless negative thought as it germinates in our little head, we will find
that there is much to rejoice about in life. When Jamal Abdul Nasser sought
the unity of his people, he said, "*Keep your tents separate, but bring your
hearts together.*" Likewise, it does not matter if we live in different
parts of the world and even in different quarters of the same city, we need
to resolve our quarrels and squabbles, deposit positive attitudes in our
heads, and bring our hearts together to build up viable communities for our
own children and grandchildren.
What is really needed is a fundamental change in our attitude towards life
and our purpose in life. We have to learn ourselves and, further, we have to
teach our innocent children, that it does not really matter what we expect
from them, but rather what they expect from us, especially from our
professionals and scholars. As Buddha explained, "*Thousands of candles can
be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be
shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.*" In other words, the
wisdom of Buddah implicitly explains the kind of role some of us prominent
professionals and scholars should play in our community to make a
significant difference in the lives of our children and in the survival of
our communities. As a scholar myself, I hope that my service in conducting
seminars and writing articles to our communities would honor my sincere
words and deeds. For every little spare time, every single professional and
scholar can enlighten many of our children in every community. To observe
the children pursuing happiness and changing their lives positively is great
joy and self-fulfillment because whatever good we give to our children
always comes back to us in bundles of car loads of happiness and joy. It is
a must do thing to seriously transform our characters and develop positive
attitudes towards each other, if our intention is to strive for lasting
happiness together in our communities with our beautiful children and
grandchildren. Peace be with you all!