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From: Berhane Habtemariam (Berhane.Habtemariam@gmx.de)
Date: Mon Dec 20 2010 - 13:23:24 EST
LEARNING THE SENSE OF APPRECIATION
Dr. Tesfa G. Gebremedhin, West Virginia University
20/12/2010
Appreciation is really a wonderful feeling. It makes us feel great and
comfortable about ourselves. The greatest need of every human being is the
need for appreciation for what we accomplish. Every one of us of any race
and gender, young or old, rich or poor is hungry for praise and starving for
appreciation because the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to
be appreciated. Appreciation can make a day to be a wonderful day and it can
even change the beauty of life. The ability to change life and to arouse
enthusiasm and instill aspiration among our children by means of
appreciation and encouragement is the best and greatest asset parents should
really develop and possess. It is commonly observed that many of our
children are so often caught up in their own little blessings and take
things for granted that they forget to appreciate the goodness and kindness
of their parents who helped them succeed in life and future careers. Our
children need to learn that no one who achieves success and acquires
prosperity does so without acknowledging the helping hand of others,
especially the most caring and loving parents. It is in our unique culture
that the wise and confident children acknowledge the help and support of
their parents with sincerity and gratitude. The story below from an unknown
author, modified for our own purpose, illustrates the sense of appreciation
as related to our facts of life.
Once upon a time there was a young academically excellent person who wanted
to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first
interview and had to face the Director of the company for the last
interview. The Director usually does the last interview and makes the final
decision. The Director discovered from the curriculum vitae that the youth's
academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school
until he got his graduate degrees. He never had a year when he did not score
in his classes. The Director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in
school?" The youth answered "none." The Director asked, "Was it your father
who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away
when I was one year old; it was my mother who paid for my school fees." The
Director asked, "Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother
worked as a laundry woman for a wealthy family". The Director requested the
youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth
and perfect. The Director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the
clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to
study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster
and better than me." The Director said, "I have a request for you. When you
go back home today, clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow
morning." The youth felt that his chance of getting the job was high. When
he went back to his house, he happily requested his mother to let him clean
her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings; she
showed her hands to her son. The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly.
His tear fell as he did clean her hands. It was the first time he noticed
that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in
her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they
were cleaned with water. This was the first time the youth realized that it
was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay
the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the
mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence, and his future
career. After finishing the cleaning of his mother's hands, the youth
quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother. That night, mother
and son talked for a very long time about their relationship. Next morning,
the youth went to the Director's office to face his last interview. The
Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes and he asked: "Can you tell
me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?" The youth
answered, "I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the
remaining clothes." The Director asked, "Please tell me your personal
feelings." The youth said, "I know now the meaning of appreciation. Without
the love and support of my mother, I would not be successful today. By
working together and helping my mother, I now realize we can be successful
no matter how difficult and tough it is to get things done. I have come to
appreciate the importance and value of family relationship." The Director
said, "Such attitude is what I am expecting from an applicant who is
aspiring to be the manager in our company. I want to recruit a person who
can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of
others to get things done, and a person who would not put financial profit
as his only and primary goal in life. Congratulations, you are hired for the
management position." Later on, this young manager worked very hard, and
received the respect of his co-workers. Every employee of the company worked
diligently as a member of a team. The company's performance improved
tremendously and its financial profit increased accordingly.
The moral lesson of the story is that we, the parents, do many things to
merely please our children without realizing the consequences of our deeds.
Sometimes some of us buy whatever our children desire and ask. We even buy
them motor cycles or cars even when they are too young to drive. We buy them
all types of video games and computer gadgets even though such things are
not absolutely necessary for them. It is obvious that many of us will be in
debt to buy many unnecessary gifts for Christmas in order to make our
children happy. It does not matter if he or she is the only child, or even
if you are the richest person in the whole world, we need to be responsible
in what we do and sensitive enough to understand the adverse impact of our
senseless acts. A child, who has been protected and habitually given
whatever he has demanded, would develop an "entitlement mentality" and would
always put himself first above anything and everything. He would be ignorant
of his parents' efforts to get what he wanted and he would not even care to
appreciate what they do to get it. When he leaves home and starts work, he
assumes that every person at work like his parents must listen to him, and
when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his
employees and would always blame others for any mistake that may occur at
work. Such people, who may be brilliant academically, may be successful for
a while, but eventually they would not feel the sense of achievement and the
sweat of hardship. They would grumble, fight, and pull and push people
around for more and better achievements at any cost or discomfort to others.
If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are
we destroying our children instead? If it is our dream to let our children
live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn to play the piano, watch movies
on a big screen TV, and buy them brand name clothes, at least, we need to
make them aware that there are millions of children in the world who go to
bed hungry everyday and who fear for their survival. They need to have a
clear and deeper understanding of the real meaning of hunger, starvation and
poverty in order to appreciate what they have at their disposal. Thus, when
we are cutting grass, raking leaves, shoveling snow, and cleaning the
bathrooms, we have to let our children share the job and have the experience
of real life. We have to let them cook, wash dishes and mop the floor
together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because some of us
cannot afford to hire a house maid, but it is because we want to love them
in a right way and proper manner. We want them to understand, no matter how
rich their parents are, one day they may end up doing the same as the mother
of that youth in the story who washed clothes everyday to pay the school
fee. It is essential that our children need to learn how to appreciate the
efforts and the difficulties experienced by others and learn the ability to
work with others to get things done. Our children need to be aware that
appreciation is the greatest virtue of life and the critical thing is
whether to take things for granted or to take things with gratitude.
God/Allah bless all of us.
Tesfa Gebremedhin, Ph.D.
Professor of Agricultural and Resource Economics
Division of Resource Management
P. O. Box 6108
West Virginia University
Morgantown, WV 26506-6108
304-293-5509
tgebrem@wvu.edu